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  • Writer's pictureVicki Viall

Are You the Person You Needed?

Updated: Nov 29, 2020

I don't know much about your life, but I do about mine. I know what it's like to grow up with verbal and physical abuse. Of being the target for narcissists who considered me the favorite target of their games, both verbal and mental. I know what it's like to wish and pray for adults willing to be there, to be role models, and to teach YOU how to be that person.

I know all of that because I lived through every moment of it.

Surrounded by adults, both family friends, teachers, Sunday School teachers, and others.

Finally, before one of them died a few years ago, I heard the acknowledgement made out loud that she knew of the abuse (as did others), but just didn't know what to do. Sadly, they chose the do nothing option.

That seems to be the most used option...or excuse.

Me? Oh heck no! I see a person yelling, screaming, or hitting a child or an animal, I step right up and step right in it.

And, to this day, not once have I regretted doing so.


Because while I was in school, I heard someone say, or I might have read it, but I heard the phrase, "Be there person you needed when you were growing up or were lost."

Have I managed that?

In baby steps and for periods of time.

However, there are reminders around me every single day of that quote and, I hope, it is a guiding light in my life.

Does that kind of person exist either in your life or around you really make a difference.


Oh my, that was not nearly empathic enough.


That type of person came in the guise of a handful of people, actually. At least by the time the pretenders, fakers, and wolves in sheep's clothing fell away, there was a solid 3-4 people who truly showed me how to be an adult, a caring person, an honest person, a person willing to step up, not away.

Looking back, I am almost ashamed to say that I don't even know if they knew what an impact they had on my life.

Still, speaking for the adult me from my "now" perspective, I truly hope I don't know who or how many people I may have influenced.


Because that would also tell me just how many I did not reach out to.

And that is a HUGE reason I try to, either through word or deed, help those who are hurting, who are lost, who do NOT have a caring role model, or any person they can count on the be in the gap for them.

There are many harmful things coming out from all the events that have surrounded us for over eight months now. One that has had, probably, the biggest impact on me is crossing with paths with someone and attempting to share a smile with them.

Someone told me a real smile touches your eyes (which it does), but without the smile as a guiding light, does the other person even notice? Not with a face mask on...

I don't think so because it seems to me that a part of "social distancing" involves avoiding looking people in the eyes.


I have no idea, so I am truly asking why?

I was given the opportunity through work to spend time with an organization in one of the many places I have lived. Through writing about and taking photos of, I was able (I HOPE!) to help that organization reach many lives that really needed it.

There was one particular adult who was an incredible "parent" to all the kids. Through looks, words, and actions, she would convey that she cared, but that she did not care for some of their actions and/or words, and why.

By the time that meeting of the minds would end, the child was again the child, and the adult was again the adult. But a lesson had been learned, an apology had been given and accepted, and life went on. but via a better path.

That's the kind of - dare I say it? - adult I want to be.

The one role model I have ever had, the one that taught me unconditional love, endless forgiveness, and true worth, was my Abba via His Word and His Son through that Word during His time on earth.

I am FAR from reaching that level, but I still pursue it. I still strive for it. I still look for signs that I am making a diffence. Preferably, a good one.

Does any of that make sense or am I mindlessly rambling.

I hope not because the saying made all the difference in my mind and heart. And, if there is one single person out there that needs to hear that quote, please know that I am asking it of you.

And, if anyone out there ever needs to talk, or just need someone to listen, I am here.

Short and sweet this week. Necessary for someone out there. If you have input, please share. Someone out there is a hurting child, regardless of the age they are, who needs someone to show them the way, the path to being the person they needed and help them do that.

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